I got to school an hour early, because for some reason, I thought my lesson was at eleven, and that I had to get up at eight and leave at nine, but it only takes forty minutes to get to school, so I of course got here at ten. I'm so tired and was sick last night (and a little bit today) so I could've used the extra hour. I have no idea what is going on today, I'm so out of it, and sick of not knowing what my schedule is.
I had a bit of a bad day yesterday and I've been feeling crappy for some of the reasons I wrote in my last entry. Basically, things are the same as they've always been. Work was long (most the weekend were long workdays, it sucks), the customers were bitchy and the register was broken for a while, which meant I had to ring people up at a register nearby. I also needed their membership cards, because the other registers won't let you ring people up without a card (the one at the food court does). If you don't know (I don't even know when or if I mentioned it here) I work at BJ's in my town, and it's a membership club (like Sam's Club, but not national, it's most of the East Coast, but only a few stores in the Midwest and none on the West Coast) so people can only really shop there with membership cards. The register was fixed after my first break, but I was just so tired it felt like a million hours.
I've been kind of in bad health lately and I've been feeling bitchy. I'm supposed to hang out with Renesmee today, but I'm not sure if I want to. We're supposed to work out, but I don't know if I'm up to doing a full hour on the exercise machine at her gym and we can't go walking because it's already hot out. Not to mention I have the skin of a cadaver, even walking to the library I felt like I was going to catch fire at any minute. It doesn't help that there are smelly trees all over campus. They're pretty, but they stink, which is odd, I've never seen flowers like that before.
I mean, it's nice out, so it feels like I'm wasting my life if I stay inside. I do need to socialize, but Renesmee is kind of my only friend right now, which is partly my fault. I really need to and want to make new friends, but I'm just not sure if that will happen. I'm worried I'll chicken out like I did in this past spring.
Gosh, I remember when I first came to URI, I felt so fortunate. Just to be able to be a musician, and to have some sense of stability and that things would be okay. I felt so hopeful that even though I didn't want to be here, good things would happen. I kind of feel like that whole thing with Bunny crushed me more than it should've. Then again, I don't talk much when I'm at school, and I don't have any friends here, so I must seem really sketchy to people around here. They know who I am, but they tend to not care.
I don't really know what else to say right now. I haven't been doing much, except being exceptionally lazy. I can't wait to go on vacation, but I think it's going to suck. I also can't wait to get some rest, but it seems like that will never happen. I really want to graduate and get out of RI. I really don't want to go to my guitar lesson because my back is bothering me, and my teacher won't let me sit back in the chair. I should've taken some Aleve before I left, but that stuff is so hit or miss with me, I don't know if it would've worked. I think I'm going to read some of my old entries, I'm probably the only one who does that. Bye.
*Rukia* (is an official member of Team Gurren now)
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