I haven't written in here in forever, as usual. I've been kind of lazy lately, not to mention a bit busy. I managed to work on starting a Creative Writing group, but we only had two members show up at the first meeting, myself and the girl who helped me to start it. There are supposed to be two more people showing up at the meeting next month though, so hopefully word will get out.
I also started a band, which has been going okay. I'm thinking of quitting it because all the members are older than me. Not to mention they are interested in doing originals, but when we work on them, I find myself bored out of my mind. Also, they never write any of the stuff for the originals down, so we all end up forgetting stuff and can't practice what we've worked on. It feels kind of pointless. Even Mickey said that if you change a song every time you play it, it's not really a song anymore. Still, everyone I've talked to has said to try and talk out my problems with them, at least some of them, before quitting, so I plan on hopefully doing that this week or next week, if I can think of a tactful way of saying what I need to say, instead of sounding like a music school snob. None of them are trained musicians, I don't think any of them have even taken lessons and they question the need for them (which I find a bit insulting), so I worry that having a degree in music, I might come across as an over educated snob.
I'm also working on some stuff for an open mic night. I don't know when I'm going, but I want to go within the next month or so. I'm working on three different songs: "My Favourite Chords" by the Weakerthans, "Two Headed Boy" by Neutral Milk Hotel (I wanted to do "Holland, 1945", but this one is easier) and "Dirty Old Town" by the Pogues. I imagine I'm going to do them all a bit different than how they're regularly played, but the Pogues one is the only one I plan on changing in any super noticeable way. I hope to work with Mickey on this stuff next week, but I want to be pretty prepared so it doesn't feel like he's teaching me everything. I also want to be able to help him, because I think he wants me to play a song with him onstage and we need to work that out. I'm looking forward to it when it does happen, if it does (but I'm kind of optimistic, I just hope his girlfriend doesn't get jealous again).
I also might have a date this week, on Thursday night, I think. I'm not certain if it's a date date, or we're just hanging out. We're going to Dave and Buster's for dinner and to play some games. I haven't been there, or even to the mall, in a while, so it could be fun. I know the guy already because I've met and talked to him at a few parties, not to mention we've talked online a few times. I don't know how it will work out, or if it will, but he's not a bad guy. I'm not crazy about him like I was about Fakir, but I don't know if that will ever happen like that again.
I do kind of like this guy that I go to work with, but he works at night so I don't get to see him much. They've been putting me on the day shift a lot and it sucks. I don't sleep well when I have to get up early, it got so bad a week ago that I got sick, though I guess everyone is getting that lately. Anyway, this guy just makes me feel kind of cool. He's seen my car and thinks it's cool, I've told him about bands I like and concerts that I've been to. I kind of tried to hint that we should hang out, but I don't think he got it. He's nice and kind of cute, and he just makes me feel like one of those cool, older girls. I've never really had a guy make me feel that way before. Usually I feel like the kid sister or the ugly, messy, dorky girl. I don't know what he thinks of me though, sometimes he is really nice to me when he sees me. Other times, it's like I'm just there. I hate it when guys give mixed signals because I almost always get confused and take it the wrong way.
I also talked to Mrs. Black tonight. I'm hoping that we can patch things up. It seems like she wants to, too. Still, I probably shouldn't rush things and such. Though she probably won't be in RI again for quite a while, unless she wants to visit her family or something. I kind of wish we could all live together and be happy. I don't think I'm going to tell Mickey if I do start talking to her again. I feel like us hanging around with him was kind of what caused our friendship to start to unravel in the first place. He ended up putting ideas in my head about her and her behavior and it made me start to take her actions the wrong way. I'd rather believe that she does things because she cares about people and not because she's selfish. I don't like being bitter about people or their motivations.
I feel like for a while there I was really bitter, but now I feel like I'm back to being my optimistic self, striving for better things. I'm not doing as much as I should, but it's more than I was doing before, so that's something. Christmas was okay, I got an LED TV a couple of weeks ago, so I didn't get anything on Christmas besides money from relatives. I kind of bought some stuff online already, so I need to put the money towards that, though I do want to get some clothes as well (the stuff I bought online hasn't shipped, so I haven't even been charged for it, the way the weather's been, it looks like it will end up on my February bill anyway, thank goodness, though I do want my stuff).
There's a storm in the Northeast, but it hasn't been too bad for me. I got home okay, my Dad is okay, and he got his birthday cake. My Grandma hasn't been doing well and I honestly think she is going to die within the next few months. I feel so bad for her, but she doesn't seem to be regretting her life or upset that she's dying. Still, I know when she dies it will leave a hole in my life that can't be filled. Not to mention it's hard to see her go through so much stuff only to get worse and worse. It's the hardest on my uncle, since my cousin is also having lots of problems (though none of it's medical stuff).
Anyway, I'm going to go to bed now. I bet this entry is really long, but I wanted to write. I felt bad about being gone so long. It's probably more about laziness than anything else. Bye!-*Duck*
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