This came from FiFi's diary, I fixed it up, because she has problems with spelling, and I wanted to expand upon it. Here it is:
People think that so many things are out there. I guess there are. We don't know 90% of the people who are alive right now.
Oh well, who cares? All I know is I'm a little girl lost in this messed up world. If I tried to find out where I belonged I would lose my damn mind!
I can agree with this, and I find it strange. It got me to think. There's so many people out there, so many lovely people we don't know about, so many assholes I haven't fallen for yet, so many types of people out there. The weird thing is, so many people who will play a part in your future (if you're like me, and you're dying to get away from where you live) that you don't even know yet.
It's also weird how the littlest thing that someone does that you don't even know, can affect you in so many ways. I just find it weird, just to think about how many people there are in this world, and how I'll never meet them, even though some of them might have an affect on my life.
I feel like a lost girl in the world, too. I wonder sometimes, if I will ever stand out from the crowd, since the crowd is so large. I mean, I've always thought of myself as a weird girl, but I don't think I'm really weird and different enough to be noticed by so many people. I'm worried that I'll never stand out of the crowd, and that I'll never be anything good, or prove to people (and myself) that I'm really unique. It reminds me of that saying: You're unique, just like everybody else. That's probably true about most people.
It reminds me of that time in Creative Writing class, we had to write about what kind of jewel we would be, and everyone (well, except for me, Creative Writing Boy, and a few others) said that they would be a diamond, because they would shine out from the rest. If we're all diamonds, then how can anyone shine, when everyone is shining so bright, that it's impossible to see anyone in their real form? That's why I don't really feel like a diamond. I feel like one of those stones that doesn't sparkle, and that few people really want.
I don't know why, I'm sure this entry seems useless, so I'll make this part short. I just wanted to expand on FiFi's entry, because I just think it's so true. There are so many people in the world, and it's just weird how many there are, and I feel bad, because there are so many great people I don't know, and I'll never get to see them. It's kind of sad, isn't it? That you probably don't know, but there are millions, maybe billions, of great people out there, and you'll never get the chance to know them. I don't think anyone will get what I'm saying, but I just think it's sad, in some kind of twisted fate way. Sorry if this wasn't short enough for you.
~Grape~Cloud~
<< Monday, Aug. 05, 2002@11:18 p.m.>>