I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been busy and next week will probably be busy, too. I've started playing the clarinet and my first lesson was on Thursday. I really like the sound of the clarinet, it's so much deeper than the guitar and it seems like more people respect you if you play an instrument like that. I want to buy the clarinet I have over the summer, so I can take it with me to Saint Rose, which is where I am going to college. I sent them my admissions form yesterday in the mail, because it takes a week to get there and I didn't realize that stuff like that only had to be POSTMARKED by May 1st, and not actually there by that date.
My car is getting fixed either this week or next week. They finally decided to go after market, because the guy who was getting in Jetta parts got new Jettas. Of course, because this is my car, they have to be completely stupid about it, because I must be the only one in Welfare Town with a dark green Jetta. I had to go there so they could figure out the color and order some paint to paint the bumper and grille. It took them about fifteen minutes, and they could not figure out the color of this car. They asked for my registration, because maybe that had the color on it (it only says "dark green" which is not the name of the color). Well, I looked in the nook I put it in, and on the floor, and it was not there, nor was the insurance card. I freaking panicked, scared it was lost forever. I got home, and called my Dad, told him what happened and he told me he put the registration and insurance card in the armrest and forgot to tell me. My Dad ended up going there and giving the guys some touch up paint he had for the car, and hopefully they can read so they can order the color. You think I drove a Yugo.
I'm going to apply for a job at Foxwoods tomorrow, because they are hiring teens over the summer. I would work in the kitchen or something like that, not on the floor, at least I hope not. I kind of want to work there, because they would pay about $10/hour because I wouldn't get benefits and I could get a ride to work with my Dad, plus I would see him more. I actually have a chance at it, too, because they seem to want children of people who work there, since they put it in the employee flyer. The only thing is, I would have to leave at five to be there for six and I'm not too sure of how to get there. My Dad doesn't trust me on 95 because he thinks I'll do eighty, like I'm honestly that stupid. I almost never go over sixty five and I have been on 95 several times, including yesterday, though I did nearly get run off the road by a truck.
This week at school wasn't so great. Half the school was gone for a band trip and a drama trip, including Parmesan. That meant that Instrumental really sucked and that Mr. Greasy, whose hair should be drilled for oil, taught Music Theory. Not only that, but Dancer only talked about her boyfriend the whole time, which was irritating because I was trying to figure out how to transcribe stuff for the test. Now she spends all her time with him and when she's not with him, she talks about him. It's just really irritating. Then, as if trying to make me more angry than I was, her and Hydrogen suggest I go out with Perscocho. I did not lose fourty pounds and get straight As to go out with a guy who can't even get through high school in four years. They're always making fun of him, too. I feel like they don't think I'm good enough for a nice guy and that pisses me off. I swear, if they start talking like this anymore I am going to get really mad and let them know it. I'm tired of feeling like I'm not good enough to hang out with, like I'm not a decent driver and like I don't deserve nice things, including nice guys. I'm not like them, I'm not going to wither and die without a dumbass guy by my side. There are nice ones out there that I really care for, like Parmesan, but I don't go crazy and stop doing my work just becuase he's not around. I don't want to make myself crazy over some guy, I just want him to love me and respect me and I want to love and respect him. I would also like it if I were attracted to him and he were attracted to me. Is it crazy to want what so many other people have?
Anyway, I'm going to my Grandma's today. It would be nice if I had some friends to hang out with, but that is just me wanting something else I can't have. I just feel really angry and sad these days. I feel like I deserve some friends and a nice guy, but I don't have any of that. It seems like most people do, too. I wish I had a best friend, someone I could feel close to and talk to, who would actually listen to me and who
liked some of the same things. Right now though, I have to get ready to leave. I also have to work on my Newspaper Chair for Physics tonight.Bye.
*Racecar*
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