Tonight was not a good night at all, not that I really expected it to be amazing, but I did expect that it wouldn't end the way it did and that no one would listen to me in the least. I called Dancer this morning, because she is incapable of calling me back and always was. She told me we could do something at night after Hydrogen came home from church. I honestly thought we would be doing something during the day because that's when most things are open. So, I got ready, played guitar, clarinet and worked out. Dancer said that she would call me back around five or six, but she didn't. So, I called her and she told me that a friend of hers was coming and that she had to change up. Then she was going to pick Hydrogen up and then me, which pissed me off because she ALWAYS picks me up last when we're in a group, even though Hydrogen usually takes hours to get ready or get her parent's permission.
I didn't want to go, but I wanted to go out. I went and gassed up my car and started crying because I just want someone to ride around with me and listen to The Clash or some other good rock band. I wonder why that is always so much to ask. That really upset me, and so I went to talk to my Dad until they came. I sat in the back and if anyone knows about Sunfires, the back is freaking tiny, but I didn't sit on the passenger's side, which is good because it's broken in Dancer's car. I honestly don't like her car though, because I really don't like Sunfires because every teenage girl in the universe seems to drive one or has driven one and they're so ugly. I think I'm the only one who thinks that though, because they sell like hotcakes around here.
So, they picked me up and the girl was smoking cigarettes and Dancer said it made her want some. Then, we were going to Oakland Beach, which my Grandma told me was a dump. Of course, we turn around and go back to the friend's house and I say I'm hungry. Then, they talk about getting beer and going to the boyfriend's house to watch movies because Hydrogen and the friend have no money. We go get the friend's cell phone and then go to Hydrogen's because she's a "good girl" who happens to come home drunk and is now screaming for Mike's Hard Lemonade. She has to wash dishes. Of course, the friend thinks Dancer should have just one beer because she is driving and one won't affect her. All this time they are listening to shit rap and fucking Limp Bizkit, who have to be the worst band in the history of the world.
I called my Dad and asked him to pick me up and told him I would be walking down the street as he came, so I wouldn't be at Hydrogen's. Dancer tried to take me home, but I got mad at her and told her that my Dad was coming in my car and that the Clash would be playing and she wouldn't know who they were. I'm just so tired of everyone not knowing what I like and not caring, though I have to put up with that shit rap. I don't mind rap too much, but the stuff about sex was really getting to me. Even if I had a boyfriend, I wouldn't want to have sex because I honestly don't care. I'm starting not to care what people think of what I like, either, because no one seems to care and no one seems to like what I like.
I'm sure they're drunk and angry at me now, just because I was hungry and didn't want to hang around with them. I was so sick of being treated like the third fiddle, always called last, if at all, picked up last and never thought of. I don't care if I spend the rest of my life alone, I'm sick of people who are careless when it comes to my feelings. I had most of my cds with me and no one even asked me if I wanted to listen to anything of my own. While the supposed cd queen had only rap and mix cds, not real ones.
I'm getting to sick of people in general these days. It seems like no one likes me anymore and no one can be real with me. I just want the damn truth and I want to be respected and if I talk to one more person who pretends to like something I like, I'm fucking belting them one. I don't know if there is anyone else out there who knows how sickening it is to have people around you who are stupid as hell when it comes to other people's likes and feelings. I know you are all so fucking afraid of a damn electric guitar, but it's better than any of your damn turntables. I wish I didn't wake up tomorrow, so I wouldn't have to wake up to people doing the same shit to me everyday. I should've fucking known better, Welfare Town is made of assholes.
*Racecar*
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